Dear Sweet Old Lady

with the large white translucent haze of hair. I followed you for only a couple miles today, and you used what you liked of all the available lanes, regardless of direction. You ran two stop signs, didn't use your blinker for any of your turns, and drove at 40% of the posted speed limit. I just want to let you know that even though your car says that Jesus is your co-pilot, he never had a drivers license. You are dangerous. I'm surprised you're still with us. I hope you don't kill anyone. It's bad enough how mad you made me today.